Fashion Victim: Vintage Ties

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I don't have to wear a tie to work; I choose to. Ties are, like, the accessory fairy's gift to man. If you just buy "acceptable" ties at Macy's or, worse, TJ Maxx, then you really aren't trying. Skimping on shirts? That's fine. Skimping on ties? Unacceptable.

The ties I wear tend to be in two categories: cheap vintage ones (so plentiful on eBay*!) and expensive new Italian ones (Pucci, Missoni and Fendi are favorites). Fashionable tie width is something I let other people worry about; the ones I sport range from the narrowest ribbons to gigantic 5-inchers from the 70s.

Shown above from left to right:

• Very narrow green and black striped silk with embroidered chess motif, maker unknown. I don't know when ties this skinny were in fashion. Late 1950s? Dating ties is difficult.
  
• Black and gray striped narrow tie with red abstract motif, probably early 1960s, probably rayon or acetate, no label.
• Black and white diagonal stripe, rayon, maker and era unknown. Flat bottom!
• Orange/brown mottled design with heraldic motif, probably early 1960s, probably silk, no label.

Wear a beautiful tie tomorrow, OK?

*Honestly, eBay is a bottomless pit filled with wondrous vintage ties. Some sellers offer lots of several, and even if only 1/3 of the batch are good, it's still worth it. The two ties on the right of the picture above came from a lot of ten I purchased for $30, and all ten were fabulous. That's ten great ties for the price of one horrible Geoffrey Beene piece of junk from a department store!

Fashion Victim: Promotional Belt Buckles

Wait, what? A Dennison's Chili belt buckle? Huh?

You have to understand 1970s marketing. Belt buckles were a common promotional item back then, like t-shirts and trucker hats. I assume that the original owner of the top one shown here obtained it by sending in a form from the Sunday coupon section along with a few proofs of purchase. I've got several of these things, enough to know that they were hardly rare.

This is the kind of thing that makes my coworkers shake their heads and give up trying to figure me out (mission accomplished!). Heck, even I can't figure out what kind of person wears a Dennison's Chili belt buckle.

You have to admit, though, that the copyright symbols lend them a touch of grandeur, no?

Fashion Victim: Clammy, Marbled Shirt

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The printing on this shirt is glorious: marbled tangerine and turquoise with touches of pink and red. Too bad the damn thing is almost totally unwearable.

I have several marbled shirts from the 60s/70s. These things were probably expensive new. Most of my marbled disco shirts, however, are polyester. This one, tragically, is made out of nylon... horrible, clammy nylon, so awful to wear that it makes the worst double-knits seem breezy by comparison. Tsk. I should probably cut it up to make pocket squares.

Fashion Victim: Cloud Shirt

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Above is a superb long-sleeved shirt, probably from the early to mid 1970s. It has a lot to offer: a weird, hand-drawn design; a totally counter-intuitive color scheme; grace notes such as the pleated pocket (not shown) and squared buttons; blue clouds, etc. Here's more or less the entire design:

The label is "By Martini" and it proudly proclaims the obvious: 100% Polyester. This garment will eventually be rediscovered, in perfect condition, in a landfill in 2275. And it will be heralded as a great work of art.

Do I actually wear weird shirts from my collection like this? Heck yeah, I'll wear it to work tomorrow.